The Book of Freak

…

…

HELP, I Caught My Dad with my GF!!!

I’ve had my GF for 2 years now (practically lives with me) – small white, petite thing, cooks for me, always been good to me.

I go away on holiday for a week, come back and something just doesn’t seem right. I asked my dad if he had seen anything happen with my GF and he acts clueless.

So fast forward to 3 weeks later… I’m coming home from work when BAM clear as day, right in my Kitchen I catch my father red handed with his meat in my GF.

I was PISSED, told him to get his meat out of GF and GTFO, needless to say my GF got turned off. I just couldn’t get over it and that night kicked my GF to the curb.

Now it’s been 2 weeks since the incident and that I’ve been without my GF and about 10 minutes ago my dad had the audacity to ask my how my GF has been, when he’s the damn reason we ain’t together no more.

Should I get off the computer and start swinging at him?

OR

Pack my stuff and be on my way.

Here’s pics of my GF for you lot as I know you’ll ask.

http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/3034/85743524.jpg

You can view the original article here

……this guy really didn’t like missing the lift. Thing is though that you’d have thought he’d have worked out by now that he is not invincible (if you know what I mean). He died of depression to the skull and his ribs popped his internal organs. Patience is a virtue, at least that what it says inside fortune cookies anyway…

Ola, I came across this interesting book on Amazon today. Someone posted the link to me on skype due to its strangely amusing title. In my quest to find out what the book was about I scrolled down and found a number of equally amused people had left some witty comments on the article in question. It was at this point I had decided it was worth a post. The title itself was too weak in humour but the comments made it more deserving I feel.

Click the link here to see the Amazon listing or click the picture below… Scroll down past the picture for a snippet of the comments…

I can’t seem to help myself from reading this, even though I always feel guilty afterwards. It does help me get to sleep, however.

As far as overcoming my obstacles is concerned, I still haven’t managed to fully plaster my walls or decorate my ceiling with spunk. Spunk has also failed to get me my job back as a school bus driver, although I did try to explain quite how much spunk I actually have and was willing to demonstrate the fact – I’m always happy to share…

Quite frankly, the whole experience has left me with an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

From now on, I’ll tease out my own solution without anyone else’s help.

Thump…

BOOM!

“Computer games dont affect us as kids, i mean if pacman did, we’d all be running around darkened rooms, munching on magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music” Kristina Wilson, Nintendo, 1989

…is rubbish.  Fuck the depression, let’s get spannered.

…Geordie bashing.

…JOHANNESBURG—Faced with a $75,000 deficit in its operational budget, the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls announced this week that it would be forced to cut a number of core Oprah courses from its enriched Oprah curriculum.

operahrerahnana